Testimony of Benjamin A. Moates 11/26/17

Part 1 A battle for the soul

I picked up my pistol and cocked it, all the while crying, crying out loud, saying, “Mama, Mama, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Bitter tears flowed as I cried out again telling my late wife, “I’m sorry. I just don’t have the strength to live anymore.”                                                  

I apologized to them, for I knew I was going to hell. I placed the cocked pistol under my chin to my throat and closed my eyes. I tried to say a prayer, but it was so hollow at that point, I just couldn’t pray anymore. 

Lamentations 3:19-33

19 Remembering mine affliction and my misery, the wormwood and the gall. 20 My soul hath them still in remembrance, and is humbled in me. 21 This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. 22 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. 24 The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. 25 The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. 26 It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord. 27 It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. 28 He sitteth alone and keepeth silence, because he hath borne it upon him. 29 He putteth his mouth in the dust; if so be there may be hope. 30 He giveth his cheek to him that smiteth him: he is filled full with reproach. 31 For the Lord will not cast off for ever: 32 But though he cause grief, yet will he have compassion according to the multitude of his mercies. 33 For he doth not afflict willingly nor grieve the children of men.

    ~ I never really knew my biological mother. She entered Eternity when I was two years of age and when my brother David was four. She died of an enlarged heart, and the Lord somehow spoke to her saying that she was coming home to Heaven. She asked her sister, Victoria, to adopt David and me because she knew that our biological father wouldn’t raise us, as he didn’t want that responsibility.                                                

I was told that he was going to sell my brother and place me in an orphanage, but instead, my aunt and uncle adopted us. It literally took me forty plus years to forgive him, to overcome, and to let go of the bitterness and hatred that I felt for him. But with the help of Jesus and ONLY Jesus, was I able to do so.                                                               

My aunt was a devoted follower of Jesus Christ and she raised David and me to know Him. I always felt that I had a calling on my life, but I had no idea what that meant when I was younger. Through the years, I would hear Jesus whisper that He loved me and that He wanted me, especially during the lowest points in my life. I would even ask to see Him and Heaven. I often prayed for Spiritual eyes and ears, not knowing the power of prayer and what I was really praying for! I SURE DO NOW!                                                                                 

Jesus shows me things that literally scare me at times. I don’t just see His Angels and glimpses of Heaven, but also, the depths of hell and demons in and around people. Severe darkness and dark shadows are around those who are NOT saved. I see the Light of Heaven around those who ARE saved and walking right with Him. The brightness of their light reveals to me the depth of their relationship with Him. Sometimes I see this and sometimes I don’t.                                    

Jesus said in John 10:10 The thief comes not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.                                                          

Sometimes Jesus shows me other people’s pain and whispers to me to pray for them. It’s very humbling to hear my Savior’s voice and to know personally that He really loves me. I can honestly look back and say, “Jesus Christ has loved me for my entire life and has a perfect plan for my life.”                                                                                                

For awhile (a few years ago), I actually hated Him and wanted nothing to do with Him!It all started with the absence of my biological father in my life and continued with the divorce of my first wife. Then it just intensified, after the sudden death of my second wife of twenty-five years. After being married for twenty-five years and not having a complete relationship with Jesus, (I was extremely lukewarm), Satan moved in rather quickly after her death! He had NO mercy!                           

The first year after her death, I was completely lost. I slowly fell into a deep, cruel depression, to the point of not being able to function. I isolated myself from the world. I would often stay in bed for days at a time, not caring that life was still happening. For two and a half years I was totally alone, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. For the entire time, Satan was feeding me lies, telling me that I was unloved, unwanted, and completely worthless.                                                          

During the second year, I fell even more into depression and was put on depression medicine. The medicine only made the depression and anxiety worse, to the point of not caring about life, family, or anything to do with Christ and Christianity!                                                                      

By the end of the second year, I HATED life and Jesus Christ! I blamed Jesus for my late wife’s death. I hated Him for taking her. I had so much hatred, bitterness, and grief inside of me that it was literally crushing me. It felt like I was suffocating at that point in my life. That’s when Satan started continuously whispering to me – suicide. That led to many days of suicidal thoughts, lots of tears, and searing emotional pain. It seemed like the nightmare would never end and that suicide was the only way out, so I thought.                                                                

But … then … JESUS!Every person is given a most precious gift; LIFE! “Jesus, I love you with my whole heart!You searched my heart with Your gentle, yet piercing, all encompassing love. Your love is beyond all description! It is gentle, yet firm, strong, understanding, forgiving, and everlasting. It penetrates the human spirit, tearing down the walls of the heart that were erected in sin and controlled by Satan. Your word is true; every knee shall bow before You and declare that You are LORD of ALL! Thank You, Lord Jesus Christ, for my life! You are my life forever. One drop of Your Blood forgave me and healed me of all my sins and cleansed me for all eternity.I am a stranger to this world; my TRUE HOME is in HEAVEN!”

After two years of living in depression and grief, I entered the third year, not expecting anything to change. By that time, I was completely lost in darkness and living in a very evil valley of shadows. I was controlled by depression and consumed by grief. Life was ‘non-existent.’ Love was a distant memory lost in the past. At that point, I hated life! I hated everything! I even hated myself. If anyone mentioned God and that He had a plan for me, I would become enraged inside and shut them down completely. I hated God! As each lonely day passed, I continuously thought about suicide and how easy it would be to just die, for I wasn’t living anyway. I hated the long days alone and hated even more the longer cruel nights. I had a forty year smoking habit, and I was now smoking almost three packs a day. I tried to soothe my pain by trying to numb my mind with alcohol, but it didn’t work. NOTHING worked!                                                                                                    

At this time, I was nearing the lowest point of my life. I was just so tired, lonely, and hurting. I would often spend whole days and nights crying, calling out for help, and just wishing to hear another person’s voice. All I could hear was Satan and his demons laughing and taunting me, saying that I belonged to them and that they were my masters. They didn’t ‘whisper’ suicide at this point anymore, THEY SCREAMED IT! I knew then, that I was completely lost and that hell was waiting. I remember that on one day, suicidal thoughts raged in my mind until nighttime arrived.                                                                               

That night I filled the bathtub and got in after taking a quantity of pills, hoping to drift off into the blackness of death and be gone from this life of pain. All that happened was that I got very sick. Two other attempts of the same, failed. Then one morning, as I was sitting on my couch alone, smoking and drinking coffee, I heard Satan whisper, “Why don’t you shoot yourself?  It’s quick, easy, and painless.”                            

At that very moment, I remembered a voice from the past telling me that “Jesus loved me.” It was my Mama’s voice. Instantly, the tears came, and instantly I shut her voice out of my mind. That very day, a tremendous battle raged! I was very conflicted all day and extremely distraught. I didn’t understand it then, but it was the Kingdom of Light and the kingdom of darkness battling for my eternal soul.                     

After two and a half years, I was very tired and worn. Nighttime was arriving, and the hours and minutes ticked slowly away into the darkness of night. I HATED nighttime! It was so very cruel at night, the voices of hell would rage. After sitting and smoking and crying, all that day, I got up and loaded my pistol and placed it on the coffee table in front of me as I sat on the couch. I sat there crying, for I don’t know how long. I thought of the past and everyone I knew. Gosh, I felt so all alone, so unloved, and completely useless.                                                                

Memories of my Mom flooded my mind. She sure loved Jesus Christ! He was her whole life. I just didn’t get it at all. How could someone dedicate their life to someone they’ve never seen? How? I thought of my late wife telling me, Jesus Christ was her Lord and Savior, and Heaven awaited her. I thought of the deaths of my adopted brother and sister. I thought about the abandonment by my biological dad. I thought of my grown children and their families.                          

Even then, Satan whispered that I wasn’t needed or even thought about. The hours and minutes passed. My heart was a cold, dead stone. With my head hanging in my hands, I smoked cigarette after cigarette, as the tears flowed. I was completely broken. I was done with this life and its cruelty. I wanted someone to love me, just someone. No one was there. No one cared. Hell was laughing, it was all too much. And right then is when…                                                             

I picked up my pistol and cocked it, all the while crying, crying out loud, saying, “Mama, Mama, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Bitter tears flowed as I cried out again telling my late wife, “I’m sorry. I just don’t have the strength to live anymore.”                                                  

I apologized to them, for I knew I was going to hell. I placed the cocked pistol under my chin to my throat and closed my eyes. I tried to say a prayer, but it was so hollow, at that point, I just couldn’t pray anymore. I was totally alone, or so I thought. Life was over.                        

With my eyes closed and tears flowing, I started squeezing the trigger. Then a gentle, but yet, firm voice called out, saying, “No! This is NOT the plan that I had for your life, Benjamin! I created you for SO MUCH MORE! Satan lied to you! I LOVE YOU!”                                     

I can’t remember laying the pistol down. For as I opened my eyes, light flooded every part of my being! It seemed to have come from everywhere! The source of it was a Man that looked like He was covered in a billion shiny diamonds. This Man looked human. He was Royalty, yet He was humble. This man was radiating love, pure love, complete and total love. Complete and total purity…Complete and total Holiness.This Man was the KING of KINGS! This Man was the LORD of LORDS! This Man was the Savior! This Man was real! This Man was JESUS CHRIST!

Jesus said in John 1:1-5, 14

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not. 14 And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.                        

Jesus said in John 3:16-17                                                              16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.                                                      

I found myself laying face down on my living room floor, terrified, thrilled, overwhelmed, crying, and sobbing. My senses were exploding!!! I felt like a wild animal in His Presence, dirty and unclean, so VERY unclean! I felt like filthy rags. I was so undone.                  

Nothing existed at that moment except Him and me. I lifted my head a few inches, afraid to look at Him. He was still standing there looking directly at me, with piercing eyes that penetrated my very heart and soul. Nothing was hidden from Him. He didn’t look at me in disgust as He should have. (Oh Lord, I LOVE YOU!)                 

He looked at me with pity on His face. He looked at me with LOVE in His heart. Love radiated from Him. Instantly, my heart started cracking. Through a veil of tears, I looked upon the Lord unsure of what to do, for I had hated Him and wanted to run as far away as I could from Him. Yet a part of me wanted to stay in His Presence. Satan’s lies and icy grip were slipping away. All I could do was cry and await His judgment. At that moment, He took a few steps towards me and reached out His hand to touch me. I recoiled and pulled away, still struggling in Satan’s grip.  Somehow, I had managed to crawl into my bedroom. I lay on the floor on my stomach and barely looked up. He was standing right there! As I looked, I could see His feet close up. He still has The Scars!  (Oh, My Lord, Why do You love me so?)                                     

All of a sudden, I felt very strong hands taking hold of my shoulders and pulling me up into His embrace. He held me against His chest. He allowed me to hear what sounded like His heart beating. I broke! I don’t know if this was Jesus letting me hear what His earthly heart had sounded like. I don’t know how to explain that, but in God’s Word I read that all is possible. I completely broke! Satan’s grip on my life was also completely broken at that moment! My heart and spirit were instantly healed. My mind was instantly healed. The Satanic voices were now silenced! I repented. I asked with my heart and mouth for forgiveness. It was granted! Joy started flooding my spirit! JESUS LOVED ME!!! JESUS IS LORD!!! I felt life enter into me. I felt alive for the first time in my life, and fully alive!                                                          

As I lay there, in His embrace, Jesus did most of the talking (with His Heart). I listened. He told me many things that I still keep to myself, things that I needed to hear. He told me again, that He loved me and had always loved me and had always been close by and had protected me all throughout my life. He did this because of His love for me, and also an answer to my Mom’s prayers for me.                                                    

I learned that prayers are never wasted and that they never go unnoticed by the Lord! I don’t know for how long that Jesus held me. I didn’t even know what time it was when He left.                                      

I didn’t want Him to go! I remember one of the last things He told me – He said that He was giving me spiritual eyes and ears. He also said that now, I had citizenship waiting for me in Heaven. He also told me that I will never ever be alone. He was just a whisper away. He said that He was going to leave two of His Servants with me to help me in the days ahead.                                                                                    

Though Satan’s grip on me was gone, he still desired me. I remember that I felt so tired all of a sudden. As I looked up into the Lord’s face, Jesus looked at me and smiled and said, “I LOVE YOU, Benjamin! Remember all that I’ve told you and remember that prayer is just a simple conversation between you and me.”                    

I love praying now, whereas before, I didn’t. At that point, the Lord left. I stayed on the floor for a while longer, just worshiping and thanking the Lord, and crying ‘happy’ tears this time. After awhile, I felt another wave of exhaustion coming over me, so I crawled up into bed. My heart and spirit was SO ELECTRIC and FULL, but my body was tired. I lay there in the dark, as sleep was coming over me.                              

I turned to my left side, and there by the bedside was a very tall and muscular Angel, dressed in what looked like a battle uniform. He even had a golden sword by his side. I just laid there and looked up at him as he looked down at me. Movement on the other side of the bed caused me to look there as well. Another Angel was standing there. He was a little shorter, but looked battle-hardened too. At that point, I fell asleep, into the most peaceful, restful sleep, that I’d had in over two and a half years. I slept the sleep of the Redeemed!                             

My life completely changed that night forever! For now, I know, beyond any doubt, JESUS CHRIST IS VERY REAL! He loves me eternally, unconditionally and very fiercely! He left the Glory and Splendor of Heaven and came to this earth and died in a horrific manner for me and for us all. Nothing can ever separate me from the awesome love of Jesus Christ! I can now say that this earth is not my home, but Heaven is! Jesus Christ is coming, very, very soon!  (He told me so). Jesus Christ is Lord of all! I can’t wait to see Him again and live with Him for eternity. To Jesus Christ be all glory, all honor, all power, and all praise! Amen.                                          

1st Epistle of John 1:1-2 1 That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, of the Word of life; (For the life was manifested, and we have seen it, and bear witness, and show unto you that eternal life, which was with the Father, and was manifested unto us;

Part 2Visions and visits to Heaven                                                           

Revelation 21:27 And there shall in no wiseenter into it anything that defiles, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which were written in the Lamb’s book of life.                            

Once you get a glimpse of Jesus Christ and Heaven, you want to let go of this world and everything that it offers, such as sin, darkness and pain. You want to run to that Perfect Kingdom of Perfect Love and incredible beauty where everything is perfectly right and extremely pure. In Heaven, everything and everyone glorifies God, and reflects His Holiness right down to the smallest detail. I miss Heaven! My soul yearns to return to Heaven for good. I long for my Lord, Jesus Christ. My heart cries and pines for Him, to be by His side. This earth really pales in comparison to that Heavenly world and land of blazing light. I was taught by Our Lord, that He never leaves us alone! NEVER! But I desire to be by His side in Heaven.                                        

In Heaven, I learned, by just the look on its citizen’s faces, that there is absolutely no pain, no tears, and no fears. There aren’t misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and no harsh words are ever spoken.  Love and Truth reign supreme. No one is ever taken for granted in Heaven. Everyone, everyone, everyone, is precious and deeply loved! No one is ever forgotten and no one is ever alone. There is no heartbreak in His Perfect Kingdom. No sin and no offense can ever enter Heaven’s magnificent gates of pure pearl and pure unimaginable love. I remember its gates are full of love! Love is EVERYWHERE! It’s indescribable! Everyone works together. God’s commands are completely carried out. Heaven, it’s all His. It’s His Kingdom.  And oh my heart! He wants to share it all with us!                                            

“Oh my Heavenly Father and Lord Jesus Christ, my soul sings and rejoices and praises You eternally. Gosh, I love You!”                     

Heaven inspires me to be the Lord’s hands, mouth, eyes, ears, legs and feet, and especially the heart, to this lost and dying world! Heaven beckons me to gather and bring as many precious souls to His Glorious Gates, to bring them home! Let’s win as many souls, for Our Lord Jesus as possible! To kneel humbly in His Presence is everything. To see Him smile is worth it all. His Smile literally lights up Heaven and His Voice makes the universe tremble. Heaven is Jesus! Jesus is Heaven!                    

Heaven is the hope inside of every believer in Jesus Christ. Eternal life and Heaven are in our hearts. Citizenship is laid up in Heaven, for all believers in Jesus Christ. It was stamped and paid for by THE BLOOD of JESUS CHRIST! Earth is the ‘training ground’ for citizenship in Heaven. Heaven is the home, the perfect home that everyone craves! We all long for that type of home!                                                           

On earth, there are mortgages to be paid. Jesus Christ paid the ultimate mortgage for us to enter our eternal home, Heaven. Heaven is where Jesus lives. No sin will ever tinge its Golden Streets, and no tears or heartache will ever crush the human heart. Freedom reigns in Heaven! Total freedom!                                                               

The human spirit soars in Heaven! Smiles and love abound!  Praises to God the Father float in the atmosphere. When a person accepts Jesus, a little part of Heaven lives in that person. Jesus Christ is the central point of Heaven. Heaven – home of The redeemed!  Heaven – JESUS CHRIST awaits us there!     

2nd Corinthians 12:1-4                                                                               It is not expedient doubtless for me doubtless to glory. I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord: I knew a man in Christ about fourteen years ago, (whether in the body, I cannot tell; or whether out of the body, I cannot tell: God knows;) Such a one was caught up in the third heaven. And I knew such a man, (whether in the body, or out of the body, I cannot tell; God knows. How that he was caught up into paradise, and heard unspeakable words, which is not lawful for a man to utter.                                                                                 

After Jesus came and saved me, I would often hear Him speak to me in gentle whispers. Jesus and I would also have deep conversations. For the next two and a half years thereafter Jesus came to me the first time, our conversations became very deep. I promised the Lord, at that time, that I would give Him my time and dedicate myself to prayer. I felt compelled to pray all of the time, especially at night. I would often spend hours on my face on the floor, by my bedside praying. It’s a very big, marked difference spending the night deep in prayer instead of being in sorrow, loneliness and grief.  It’s a very big difference, with completely different results. The nights spent concentrating on sorrow, loneliness and grief only produced more of the same. But the nights spent in prayer led to strength, inner peace, and a deeper closeness with the Lord Jesus. Prayer gave me a deeper desire to know the Lord, on a deeper level. I learned that the universe doesn’t revolve around me. Instead, it revolves around Jesus!                                                                                       

I couldn’t wait for the nighttime to arrive so that I could be alone with my Lord, and go on grand adventures with Him to Heaven.                                 

It all started one night as I was faced downward praying. I had been praying for about an hour. As I lay on the floor, just saying Jesus’ name, I opened my eyes and to my surprise, the Lord was standing in front of me, only inches away, looking down at me! I could see His feet and the hem of His robe as it gently swayed with movement. I couldn’t move, and just laid still worshiping Him late into the night.                          

Over and over on numerous nights, the Holy Angels would come and spend nights in the house. I was never alone after Jesus rescued me from suicide. I’m still completely amazed by His great love, and often the tears come when I think about how He loves me! He is so awesome! I can’t help but to talk about His amazing love. I remember one time while mowing grass, hearing the Lord Jesus whisper, “I am here and I love you, Benjamin!” That’s the first time that I mowed grass with tears flowing.  Jesus is PURE LOVE.                                                    

One night as I was praying, I opened my eyes and I wasn’t in my bedroom anymore. I was in a world of pure light that was alive! I found myself looking down a very beautiful street, with a crystal clear river running the length of it, with lots of trees on both sides of it, and golden park benches under the trees. I’m not sure if this part was a vision of the future or present, but people wearing ‘all white’ garments were sitting under trees talking. Some were holding hands as they talked. All were smiling and glowing, they were very beautiful!                                               I saw the most beautiful flowers and plants that I’ve ever seen! It was completely breathtaking! Everything was totally alive. Even the park benches looked alive! I noticed various types of colored fruit on the trees. I was viewing this, as if from a distance and from upward, but yet, I could see everything in minute detail. The one thing that really stood out and was sort of amusing to me was that there were no shadows anywhere! I was looking, trying to find a shadow, but I couldn’t. There was a purity and cleanness to the air. I not only saw this, but sensed it as well. I noticed in Heaven, that someone’s senses are greatly magnified, and you literally experience everything extremely intensified. I experienced all of this with my five senses and maybe even more that we don’t have here on earth. As I looked down that beautiful street in Heaven, I became completely absorbed in every detail. This place was absolutely perfect! I could have spent millennia just watching that one street. I felt completely at home and I didn’t want to leave! 

Part 3 More visits to Heaven                                                                                                        One night on another visit to Heaven, during prayer I saw the city of Heaven. This time, I viewed it, as if standing from afar off, but yet, close up. I don’t understand how that can be. But, the Holy City was bright, very bright…exceedingly bright! It was blindingly bright! It is a pure, Holy city. No sin or sinner can ever step foot into Heaven. When you see Heaven, you instantly know beyond any doubt that it’s God’s home! Even as I’m writing this, I’m longing for Heaven. Heaven is very personal to me! Heaven is huge, extremely huge. When I first saw Heaven, my, oh my! I wanted to run as hard as I could to it, and embrace everything and everyone. I wanted to shout praises and Hosannas to God. I was so humbled and filled with awe. My emotions were completely overflowing. Every cell in my being cried out for Heaven. I long to be there forever, to explore every street, every corner, every building, every fountain, every tree, every plant, every flower, and even, every blade of grass. In my entire life, I’ve never felt ‘at home’ anywhere on earth. But as I knelt on my knees and gazed at Heaven…its Glorious beauty, awesome brightness, its purity, and overwhelming Holiness, I felt something inside of me that I’ve never felt before in my life. I felt like I was finally home. “Thank You, dear Lord Jesus! Thank You, for You made it all possible! I long for You, Lord Jesus, You are Heaven!”       

If you’re born again, Heaven will be your home. In fact, you already have citizenship there. It’s all yours! No matter how hard this life on earth gets, we can still smile and rejoice, for Heaven awaits us. The Saints already there are praying for us and cheering for us on our journey. They desire greatly for us to be with them, at home, in Heaven. The Holy Angels desire for us to be there. Our Heavenly Father desires for us to live there with Him. Our Lord Jesus Christ will welcome us personally into Heaven. He desires for us to be there to present us to His Father. He died for us, so that we could have entrance into Heaven. Let us run this race gladly for Our Lord! Let us run, and run hard! Let us use up everything God has given us on this journey. Let’s all race hard to Heaven! It awaits! It’s our Home!!!                                                              

On another visit to Heaven, (Not sure if this was a vision of the present or the future), I was very blessed to see a person that had just arrived to Heaven being presented to God the Father, and Jesus Christ, in the Throne Room of Heaven. It was so overwhelming and humbling, ‘amazing!’ Words just can’t express that precious moment! I found my heart was cheering for that precious soul! My spirit was glorifying God and thanking the Lord Jesus for saving that person and allowing them entrance into Heaven. I’ll NEVER forget the look on that person’s face, as they knelt before the Throne and looked up into God’s Glory, and saw Him, face to face, for the very first time! The Angels were shouting and praising God, as that person received a white robe and their citizenship. All Heaven celebrated! I don’t know that person’s name, but I still think of them to this day. They are in Heaven! I look forward to meeting them one day in Heaven.                                                                 

On another night after prayer, I was lying in bed, and all of a sudden, I was shown a woman kneeling before the Lord Jesus. Somehow, I could understand that she wasn’t born again. The Lord stood before her as she pleaded with Him. He had a stern look of pity and righteous judgment on His face. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but somehow in my spirit, I knew that she was being sentenced to hell for rejecting the Lord Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross. I’ll never forget the look of regret, sorrow, pain, utter hopelessness, and terror, as two Angels led her away to eternal separation in hell. After seeing that, I slipped off of my bed, onto the floor, and cried and repented all over again. For days afterwards, I was sick in my spirit and sad. I had seen and found out that Jesus Christ is very real and doesn’t play around with sin! He is our Savior. But now, I know also, that He is our judge, and His judgment is righteous and Holy.       

I remember on another visit to Heaven, I was in an extremely huge room that had enormous broad steps and beautiful columns that led upward to some type of stage or platform. I remember seeing Angels that looked like they were made of light, and Saints were standing on those broad steps talking to each other. Gosh! Every single time that I saw Heaven, it was so bright and very beautiful, that you can’t describe it accurately. There are no words on earth to describe Heaven.                     

During another visit to Heaven, I saw people in white robes lined up before the Throne of Jesus Christ. The people were radiant and smiling and talking to each other as they waited to stand before Jesus. Jesus was sitting on His Throne, and a huge, glorious rainbow, encircled His Throne. It was extremely incredible! At that moment, I could feel Jesus’ Royalty, the KING of KINGS! The people were lined up moving from their right to their left as they visited His Throne. There were Angels before His Throne, looking like they were made of fire and light, and they had huge curved wings of fire and light. Angels were standing behind His Throne, dressed in what looked like radiant, shiny, battle uniforms. I had the impression that they guarded Jesus, even though He needed no guarding! He truly is our King.                                         

People have asked me, “Are there pets that have died and gone to Heaven?” I honestly do not know, and have thought of that question myself. The reason that I bring this subject up, is because one time, I was shown a vision of the countryside surrounding the city of Heaven. I saw dogs, cats, and many types of animals, including horses. They all looked healthy, whole and happy. They were well taken care of. I saw a large field where a lot of pets/animals were playing. All I can say is, God knows our desires and He knows we love our pets.   

Part 4 My back yard                                                                                                                    My back yard was my peaceful haven where I would often sit and read God’s Word and pray. It was always so peaceful, and it was next to a forest. I remember sitting there one warm, sunny day, when all of a sudden, my spirit felt alive and super charged! I couldn’t figure out what was going on. But by then, I had come to know and recognize when the Lord Jesus or one of His Angels were close by…for it always energizes my spirit. I looked around…expecting to see someone eternal, and then I looked up and saw a powerful angel engaged in battle with a powerful demon in the clouds. I watched completely mesmerized. Gosh, it was so exciting! I felt myself cheering and praying for the Angel. The Angel and demon had swords and fiercely fought each other in a very real battle. Then, the Angel produced a weapon that looked like a spear made of pure light! This battle raged, until the Angel prevailed and won! Then, another Angel appeared holding a box-like object that shot out a beam of light to the Angel who had prevailed, and they both disappeared. Talk about humbling and gaining a new perspective of spiritual warfare!                       

Somehow, I felt that battle was over me, or a loved one. For at that time, I had been in heavy prayer for a loved one’s salvation. I’ll know for sure one day. There’s more to life than just human, physical life, here on earth. There is also life in the spirit world where eternity exists and sometimes those two spheres of life cross over into each other. I have learned that both worlds are inter-connecting and that fierce battles rage for the souls of humanity. The Angels and demons fight each other and our prayers help strengthen the Angels as they fight for us. Our prayers are powerful weapons! Remember, to always pray about everything and do the exact will of God! Always pray!                                                            

During numerous days spent outside, I’ve seen legions of Angels in the clouds lined up, like they were standing at attention, shoulder to shoulder. Most of them were wearing robes, and some had battle uniforms. They were part of God’s Angelic army. Simply amazing!             

I recall that one morning, I got up and I had a couple of cups of coffee and was doing house chores, and then went outside. I went out the side door of my home and started around the corner of my house heading to the back yard. Just as I came around the corner, I happened to look up at the clouds and to my surprise, I saw JESUS! He was standing there, looking down at me, smiling. His smile makes me want to yell out for the world to hear, “JESUS! I LOVE YOU!”                                               

His smile completely melts my heart! As I looked up at Him, I just sat down completely absorbed, looking at Him, mesmerized! He was standing with His arms at His side and His hands resting on what looked like beautiful, ivory columns that were waist high. He wore a golden crown that looked alive and shined brilliantly, but it didn’t hurt my eyes. He had on an extremely beautiful glistening white robe with a golden cross embroidered on it at chest level. A golden light shone from His face. The golden light looked like golden lines. As I sat there and looked at the Lord Jesus, I noticed movement behind Him.                     

As hard as it was to take my eyes off of Jesus, I looked behind Him, and oh, my, Heaven! I could see into Heaven! Oh, the beauty and wonder and Glory! I looked at Jesus again. He was still looking and smiling at me, and without words spoken, He said to me that it was okay to look. I looked again and saw Heaven’s glorious light, golden streets, trees, plants, flowers, and saw again its glorious citizens and many, many buildings. As I looked into Heaven, I felt such a deep, deep, longing to be there. Instantly, I knew in my spirit that one glorious day I would be allowed to go there for good – forever!                                                   

I saw movement to the right and behind Jesus, and it caused me to quit looking into Heaven to see what that movement was. To His right and behind Him, I saw shining Angels, and I instantly knew that they loved Him and lived to serve Him. I then looked to Jesus’ left. Oh, I wanted to cry! (Not sure if this was a vision of the present or of the future) I saw my adopted mom and dad! They had passed away in the 1990’s, and I had desperately missed them for years! Gosh! My heart skipped so fast as I looked up at them, for they weren’t sickly or old anymore. They were robust, young, and glowing with God’s Glory on them! They had been faithful to Jesus on earth and He had been faithful to them on earth and into eternity. Praise The Lord forever!  Praise His Holy Name!!! Our God is a GOOD God!!!

Part 5Rooms of Records in Heaven –      

Revelation 20:12-13                                                                                                                       And I saw the dead, great and the small, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. And the sea gave up the dead which were in them: and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them; and they were judged every one according to their works.      

On another night after prayer, as I lay in the dark, I found myself on another visit to Heaven. I found myself looking down a vast corridor of huge rooms. As I stood there amazed, looking, I heard these words spoken into my spirit – “These rooms contain the records/books of every human that has ever been born and that will ever be born upon the earth.” I thought, “wow, that’s amazing!” This was until I heard the next part that completely humbled me. The voice speaking to me also said, “My recorder Angels are assigned to each and every human and they record every word ever spoken by that human that they are assigned to. They also record every action, every thought, and even the intent of the heart of that human.” Oh Wow!                                                    

I then realized fully and completely that everything is open before Our Lord and NOTHING is hidden! Oh My! What manner of persons should we be? Our very lives are fully exposed before Our Lord! Oh, Lord Jesus! Help us to ALWAYS guard our tongue, our very thoughts, to watch our actions, and to always have the very best of intentions!  Help us to ALWAYS live honorable lives.                     

Jeremiah 33:3 Call to me and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.

Part 6 “Questions”                                                                      

Heaven … If you were to ask me to describe it, what would I say? How could I find the right words to adequately describe a world, a Kingdom, that is so pure, Holy, and totally awesome? How could I ever find the words to describe its overwhelming beauty, and where would the words come from to explain the incredible love there, the love that you not only see and feel, but the love that you breathe and experience, flowing through your spirit when you’re there?                                           

How do you explain the never ending light that is everywhere there? And the myriad of exploding colors that is everywhere there? And how that light and different colors penetrate and reflect on everything?How do you explain its brightness and yet feel its soothing warmth?How do you explain streets of the purest gold, buildings that float made of the purest gold, diamonds as big as houses, mountains made of the purest gold, and sterling silver and vast multi-colored waterfalls?                                   

How can I ever explain a river so very deep and yet so crystal clear and pure that you can even breathe within it?How do you describe a world where you literally speak from the heart and not the mouth unless you choose to?                                                                                          

For all the farmers and agriculturists, how do you describe trees that produce multiple fruits continuously, and trees that are so big that you can’t see the tops of them? How do you describe that when you pick a fruit, it instantly grows another one in the same place?                                

How do you describe plants and flowers that turn and watch you as you walk by? For the astronomers, how do you describe the sky/atmosphere that is alive and steady, moving with praises and continually changing colors and vast galaxies as you look far into the distance?For all the music lovers, how do you describe the most satisfying, beautiful music that you’ve ever heard, music that instantly fills your spirit completely and seems to come from everywhere and is alive?                                                                                                  

How do you explain and make someone understand that Heaven has all kinds of different citizens, such as the myriad of different kinds of Angels, billions of Angels? Some Angels look sort of human, but yet they are not human, for they are created spiritual beings. Some Angels look like fire, where as some Angels look like a combination of water and wind. Some Angels appear as pure transparent light, and others are over seventeen feet tall and even taller!                                                  

I learned that each angel has its assigned job in the Kingdom of Heaven. They take that job very seriously, and happily do that job so as to bring glory to the Lord Jesus and our Heavenly Father. They are extremely loyal to the Father and the Son. I learned very quickly that there is order in Heaven and not chaos, for our God is a God of order.        How do you explain to someone about the four living beings that are before God the Father’s Throne praising Him continuously with such deep, heartfelt praises, that it makes you want to join in and praise The Father and the Lamb too? How do you explain their appearance?  How do you describe such huge fearsome Holy looking creatures?                      

I remember the first time that I saw the four living beings. When I saw them, I felt so small and if it had not been for Jesus’ presence, I would have felt very fearful! I looked at them and tried my best to figure out what they were and what I was seeing. Somehow I knew that they played a very significant role in Heaven, because they were at the Father’s Throne praising Him. That is praise that I will never forget! I remember later searching God’s Word and coming across Ezekiel, chapter one, and reading about the four living beings. I hadn’t read that before seeing them. I couldn’t rest until I found them in God’s Word. The Father didn’t tell me what they were, for He led me to research them in His Word, and honestly, for that, I’m very grateful!  “Thank You Father!”                  

How do you describe the intoxicating Holy aroma of Heaven with its deep richness and sweetness that completely saturates you inside and out? The aroma of Heaven is so awesome that once you experience it, you never forget its beautiful, lovely fragrance. It causes you to immediately know when the Lord Jesus or one of His Angels are near, for you can smell Heaven’s aroma on them.                                                

How do you describe seeing in Heaven, a person burning incense on an altar and watching the smoke ascend up to the Father’s Throne, somehow knowing its sweet aroma is being mixed with the prayers of the Saints?How do you describe kneeling and then laying prostrate before the Father’s Throne and seeing, hearing and feeling and even smelling His Holiness and Majesty and incredible power, all the while, fearing that you’re unclean and undone, but yet, at the same time, hearing your sweet Savior and King gently say, “Father, he is mine!” Where are the words to explain that? Where are the words to explain the Father’s vastness and His Throne, for they seem to be, One?  Words, no words can ever explain Him.                                     

How can you explain the Lord Jesus Christ? How can you ever explain Him?How do you explain His Love, His tender mercy? Jesus, giving His all, His very Life’s Blood, His very life?Why does He Love me, even after all the wrong that I’ve done?                                                  

I was selfish, and He loved me! I was prideful, and He loved me! I was so sinful and unclean, and He loved me! I turned my back on Him, and He loved me! I ran from Him, and He loved me! I brought great shame to His name, and He loved me! I denied Him, and He loved me! I tried to destroy my body, this very life, and He loved me! He rescued me! He saved me! He loved me! How do you explain that? “How, Lord? Why Lord?”                 

People often ask me, “What does The Lord Jesus Christ look like?” When He came and rescued me, it was the first time I ever saw Him. I looked at Him through a veil of tears and grief, but still saw Him clearly, for He illuminates everything, as He is truly the light of the world! His hair was shoulder length and white as wool but yet I could see dark brown in it. As He would turn and move His head it would change. I don’t know how to explain this but He looked like He did while He walked here on the earth, but yet, looked like He does in Heaven, with His Glory restored, after His ascension back to Heaven. He is Jesus, and of the Father. His eyes magnetically draw you to Him. His presence consumes you, but yet, is soothing. His eyes are mesmerizing and I really can’t say ‘what color’ that they are, for they are brown, blue, and all kinds of colors. It seems the colors are continuously changing and you could get completely lost in His eyes.                                           

To look into His eyes is like looking at a vast rich beautiful world of its own. To me, the biggest and most awesome thing about His eyes are, they saw all of us when we were lost in our sins and they saw how desperately we needed a Savior, and He became THAT Savior! His eyes are pools of liquid love! I remember His heart was so rich in love and so very tender, extremely tender, when He held me on the night He rescued me.                             

I also remember He was exceedingly strong! I knew beyond all doubt, as I looked into His eyes, that He absolutely loved me and would have suffered and died for me, even if I was the only human upon the earth. Different times when I’ve seen the Lord Jesus, His face shines with a great brilliant light, and other times His face looks normal with a sort of soft glow. How do you explain that? How do you explain hearing the Voice of The Lord Jesus, even when you don’t see Him? All I can say is, there’s so very much to Jesus Christ, and I believe that you could spend all of eternity exploring and learning about Him and still have only just begun. He is NEVER ENDING! He is the centerpiece and masterpiece of Heaven. He is everything! He is My Savior! He is My Lord! And He is My King!                                                                   

Now, the last few questions ….why me?I’m no one. Why did the Lord Jesus rescue and save me? Why did my Dear Savior tenderly give me another chance, a brand new life? The only answer that I have is the very one He gave me on that night long ago…HE LOVED ME! Simple as that, HE LOVED ME! Now, the very last question…And it’s for everyone who has read all of the words that I have written, as a testament for my Lord Jesus Christ…                                                                       

Here’s the question – DO YOU KNOW HIM?                                            

He knows you and wants to save you, for He tenderly loves you so much, that He died for you so you could be forgiven and cleansed and healed of your sins. It’s very simple. Just call on His Name and ask Him to forgive you of your sins and to come live in your heart and direct your life forever. God’s word states that if you did that, then you now have been forgiven and have citizenship awaiting you in Heaven. Now for you, the greatest and grandest adventure begins…

“Father, in the name of Jesus, I surrender my day and my life to you. I repent my sins. Please forgive me. I confess that Jesus is the Son of God and my Savior, rising from the dead. I surrender all aspects of myself and my life to you. Lord, guide me to do your will, to go wherever you want me to go and to do whatever you want me to do for the glory of your eternal Kingdom. I humbly ask you to give me blessings beyond my imagination so that I can use them to give back to you and your children. Amen.”

Psalm 148 Praise to the Lord from Creation

1 Praise ye the Lord!Praise ye the Lord from the heavens; praise him in the heights. Praise ye him, all his angels; praise ye him, all his hosts Praise ye him, sun and moon; Praise him, all you stars of light. Praise him, ye heavens of heavens, And ye waters that be above the heavens.Let them praise the name of the Lord: For he commanded, and they were created. He also established them forever and ever; He hath made a decree which will not pass.Praise the Lord from the earth,
ye dragons, and all depths; Fire, and hail; snow, and vapor; stormy wind fulfilling his word; Mountains, and all hills;
fruitful trees and all cedars: 10 Beasts, and all cattle; creeping things, and flying fowl; 11 Kings of the earth, and all people; princes, and all judges of the earth: 12 Both young men, and maidens;
old men, and children:13 Let them praise the name of the Lord:
for his name alone is excellent; his glory is above the earth and heaven.14 He also exalts the horn of His people, the praise of all His saints; even of the children of Israel, a people near unto Him.Praise ye the Lord.

     All of my words are dedicated to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who is my heart and my very life. “Thank You, my Lord, for You know my heart and I dearly love You forever. Until that day that I’m in Your arms again, in Your Beautiful Kingdom, I will be forever faithful to Your great cause. 

All praise, honor and glory belong to You forever! Amen.”                         

To my beautiful fiancé, Lori…Without your devoted help, I wouldn’t have been able to do this. Your gentle touch and tender heart has helped bring me to life again. Your strong faith and devotion to our Lord and your outward boldness for our Lord was what I once prayed for in a wife. My darling, you are very beautiful and totally awesome and I love you!

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